Shut-eye shut out

does sleep deprivation do this to you? ; Googled photo

                 I'd like to think that I don't have problems with "sleep" ---because I practically don't, uhm, sleep. I've been surviving on five (5) hours/day or less of sleep for sixteen (16) years now.

                  In fact right now, I'm writing this at 4: 42 a.m., sleep-deprived retinas, groggy head, shaky hands, all fueled by caffeine (2 sachets of 5-in-1 coffee, 2 bottles of Cobra energy drink: that's a grand total of 6 sachets of coffee, 6 bottles of energy drinks in a day, each day), my preferred addictive upper regardless of whether I actually need it or not.

                     But way back in college, I ACTUALLY needed caffeine, and coffee was ( still is) easily the cheapest and most accessible; I did have other choices, though: Red Bull, Lipovitan, Korean Ginseng, and canal water, I mean, Brand's Essence of Chicken.  The latter are a luxury. 

I'd like to believe i still look like this despite sleep deprivation

                    Luxury of time was what I didn't have in college, and even through law school. I had to maintain a scholarship in college. It was a crazeee, pressure-cooker world and I was the chicken. That's why I needed Brand's Essence of Chicken to fuel me through those sleepless nights. Or other caffeine kick, for that matter; coffee being the least expensive, and even tasteful: at least you have a choice of flavors, especially if you are fond of going to 24-hour cafe's. Which could not be said of other caffeine drinks. Ditto in law school. What with all those pages and cases to read. You have been reading for eight straight hours, and you still can't finish everything. Que horror! Un montón de café al rescate! (Lots of coffee to the rescue!) It didn't help, too, that I was a crammer extraordinaire. I seem to have the motivation to do something at the last minute, literally. (A habit I'm trying so hard to break.) I can go on without sleeping through the night (and dawn) and go to exams or series of exams the next day.


                  And the next day. And the next. And the cycle of coffee consumption continues (is that an alliteration, or what. . .). 

                    Which cycle continues up to this day. I can't  seem to live without coffee: from the time I wake up (2 sachets/2 spoonfuls, with sugar and cream please) to midday (another mug please) to after-dinner (mug number three please). All of these supplemented by energy drinks, also coffee-infused beverages. I can't keep track of how much coffee, in milligrams, I consume everyday. Or whether my consumption is still within "legal" limit. (This just in: the safe amount of coffee consumption/day is 300 mg; equivalent to three cups, not mugs or large paper cups. What is a safe amount of caffeine?) If that's not addiction, I don't know what is!



                   And there goes the sleeplessness. And if I can't sleep, I write; and come up with blog post like this. Oh well, it couldn't be that bad after all.

Yes, it's the "hot" coffee replacing my blood; or it could be me